Sit-Down Dinners | News | Portsmouth Abbey School, Rhode Island

Students stand as Head of School Matt Walter prays over dinner and great conversations between students and faculty.

Sit-Down Dinners are a cherished tradition at Portsmouth Abbey School. This formal occasion takes place each term and brings together boarders, day students, and faculty, all dressed in School Dress, for an evening of meaningful conversation and connection. A highlight of the event is the faculty speaker, who offers reflections and wisdom to the assembled students. Dinner this term featured two longer-tenured and well-respected faculty members: Ms. Kate Smith (English) and Mr. Kale Zelden (English/Humanities). Their speeches, imbued with humor, wisdom, and authenticity, provided students with memorable lessons to carry forward.

Smith opened her remarks with characteristic humility, admitting that while she has learned much from experience, true wisdom often emerges only with time. Rather than offering personal insights, she turned to the time-honored wisdom of her mother, Mamie, whose go-to aphorisms shaped her perspective on resilience, curiosity, self-awareness, and humility. 

“Tough apples, buddy.” For Smith, this no-nonsense phrase reinforced the idea that individuals are stronger than they realize and should set high expectations for themselves.  

“Only boring people get bored.” Mamie’s lesson? The world is a fascinating place, and curiosity and creativity should always be engaged.

“Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.” This phrase encouraged taking responsibility, fostering kindness, and recognizing the power of a positive outlook.

“You have to laugh at yourself,” Smith explained, reinforcing the importance of humility and humor. She added that this mantra became invaluable as she reached high school and college and emphasized that embracing one’s imperfections allows for deeper connections and shared joy.

Smith closed by encouraging students to carry these words forward, even passing them along to their children someday. With humor and heart, she demonstrated that wisdom need not be complex—it can be as simple as the advice of a loving mother.

 Zelden reflected on his 18 years at Portsmouth Abbey, acknowledging that he has been shaped by the students as much as he has influenced them. As an English teacher with a deep love for words, he admitted to being delighted to learn new slang from his students over the years—expressions like “no cap,” “drip,” “lore drop,” and “you ate.” However, one phrase in particular captured his imagination: “He’s a Real One.”  

Analyzing this phrase through the lens of an English teacher, Mr. Zelden explained that to be a “Real One” means to embody authenticity, reliability, and a deep, unshakable sense of self. He drew comparisons to older expressions such as “the real deal” or “the genuine article.” He emphasized that his role as a teacher is to help students become “Real Ones”—people who possess integrity, sincerity, and an unmistakable inner quality that sets them apart.

But just as there are “Real Ones,” there are also their opposites: the Fake Ones. Mr. Zelden warned against becoming a fraud or a grifter who lacks authenticity. Instead, he encouraged students to embrace their true selves, strive for excellence, and recognize that being genuine is the foundation of meaningful relationships and success.

 In a conversation at the table with fellow faculty member and art teacher Ryan Walker, Zelden reflected on what truly defines a “Real One.” It is not merely talent or ability but a deeper quality—a commitment to being genuine to oneself. He challenged the students to strive toward this ideal, reminding them that the world needs more Real Ones.

Portsmouth Abbey’s Sit-Down Dinner tradition affirms the school’s commitment to community, reflection, and growth. Students were lucky to have two speakers dedicated to cultivating and instilling these values in them and future Ravens of Portsmouth Abbey School.